How can I be a child again? A child trusts and leans on those whom nourish and love them. A child believes and follows without question. A child see beauty where many see none. How can i become like a child, free from the monotony of the world. How can i not be myself any longer? A self that claws at the chance to please its endless list of self wants and frivolous desires!? Have i gone to far,to long, to deep to turn back now? Has the flesh finally caramelized around me with no hopes of returning back to the state of happy childhood, the state of trust, hope and peace. When will i not be so tired? when will i not be consumed? when will I not be forgotten and lost in a mind and world of frivolity and lust? how long must I wait for deliverance. How hard must I work to say no to what i previously and even now at times desire before it leaves me alone? I am stalked at an ever continual rate, a rate which quickens with every passing moment. I am hunted and prepared. I am pounced upon at the most pristine moments, the moments when all is well, i feel fine and strong and free! at these moments i am consumed and overwhelmed by the enemy of my heart with no place
(it seems) to retreat. How I wish to be consumed with the goodness of our God! I have tried! But i am more content with the foolishness of the world, than that of eternal purity. Why, you may ask? I do not know! I wish for this all to end! I wish for my king to come and take me home, to take us all home. Then the tiresome struggle will be no more the constant battle will wage no more! Or perhaps I have got it all wrong! Perhaps I just don't know how to live in the victory of Christ? Perhaps I just don't know?
About Me
- Joseph
- I am a man who seeks to be defined by Psalms1! I love people and developing relationships! I love good conversation and laughing. I love a good story and a good story teller.
I often wish I could go back in a time when all I had was pure thoughts and innocence was all around me, but now I often battle with my own demons of desires. I watch my children and I am reminded of how pure life can be if we let it. I'll be driving and feel consumed with negative thoughts or things I want, then I hear my kids laugh in the back seat and I know through them God is talking to me to feel blessed. So I pray whenever possible and thank Him for my life and the purity that still exists around us. We are here for a reason, it's our job to listen to God and find out what that reason is up until our last breath; then we will be home again......JMe
ReplyDeleteI have often felt the same pressures of this world that seem to crowd out the simplicity of trusting Christ to be my sufficiency. Sometimes I wonder at the verses similar to the ones in 1 John that talk about how we are called the children of God and the world does not know us because it does not know Him. How can I be so consumed with this world that does not even know Him? In the midst of my struggles and even doubts, I know that I am righteous in the eyes of my Savior. He has made me pure, delivered me from the power of darkness, and conveyed me in to the kingdom of the Son of His love. All of us struggle with weaknesses, but it is in our weakness that He shows Himself to be our strength and brings glory to His name....after all, isn't that the point?
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